Japanese with the Kagamine Twins
by Lun Yokune
Summary: レン - Today we will be learning words!　リン - Well OBVIOUSLY Len. Can't you read the title?
1. Pilot

**THE KAGAMINE SHOW**

(corny theme music) _It's the Kagamine woooorrrddd shoooowwwww~_

「レン」

Konnichiwa!

「Audience」

Konnichiwa!

「レン」

You just learned your first word, folks, congratulations! It's "hello"!

「リン」

Everyone knows that word, Len. What a stupid way start to the show.

「レン」

This is MY show Rin. You're job is to be the co-host, not make snide comments.

**(Rin hits Len hard across the back and the audience cheers)**

「レン」

If you're new to the show, Rin likes to hit me a lot...

「リン」

He secretly likes it.

「レン」

No I don't!

「リン」

(whispers) Yes he does!

「レン」

ANYWAY, let's bring in today's special guest! Are you excited?

「Audience」

YEAH!

「レン」

REALLY EXCITED?

「Audience」

YEAH!

「レン」

Well, you shouldn't be, because it's just Inuyasha.

**(Audience screams and cheers anyway, and as Inuyasha comes onto the stage a fangirl tries to attack him)**

「レン」

SECURITY!

「けいびいん」

I got it.

**(Security guard drags crazed fangirl away)**

「レン」

Thank you, security person! Or "keibiin" as the floating words above his head so kindly tell us.

「けいびいん」

Mhm.

「リン」

..are we going to cover Hiragana anytime in the show, Len?

「レン」

Maybe, maybe not, depending on how hungry I am by the time this over.

「リン」

That doesn't make any-

「レン」

SO – Inuyasha.

「いぬやしゃ」

Yo.

「レン」

Hajimemashite, nice seein' you again, and all that! So, can you tell the audience any easy words for today? Stuff for beginners.

**(Inuyasha scratches his nose, awkward and not really interested in this sort of thing)**

「いぬやしゃ」

Well, Inu means dog...

**(Audience gasps)**

「レン」

So the word dog is in your name?

「いぬやしゃ」

Yes?

**(Inuyasha twitches his dog ears)**

「レン」

Makes perfect sense, but I'm sure a lot of people knew that. We have time for one more, if you'd be so kind?

「いぬやしゃ」

Akai means...red? Look, I kind of have somewhere to be.

「レン」

Where's more important than here?

「いぬやしゃ」

Wherever Naraku's hiding, that's where.

**(Inuyasha grumbles and stalks off the stage to the applause of the audience)**

「リン」

Well _someone_ wasn't walked today.

「レン」

That's fine, Rin, we'll get other guests if we get enough viewers. And, he gave us a bonus word, because Naraku means "hell." What a swimming name for a demon, ne?

「リン」

Whatever, little bro.

「レン」

And that's all the time we have for today!

「リン」

That was like five minutes, Len.

「レン」

GOODBYE!

**(your TV screen has just gone black to the credits)**

* * *

Words – 6

Konnichiwa (hello)

Keibiin (security guard)

Hajimemashite (glad to meet you)

Inu (dog)

Akai (red; the i can be dropped)

Naraku (hell)


	2. Informative

**THE KAGAMINE SHOW**

_(corny theme music) It's the Kagamine woooorrrddd shoooowwwww~_

「レン」

And welcome back to the Kagamine show! Unfortunately, we only have an informative show today, as our next special guest couldn't make it. Why, you ask? Well, we had a little "problem" on our last show, and Rin isn't too happy about it.

「リン」

We had 68 visitors on the show in less than an hour, and none of you paid your $#$#%%^*! tickets!

…

Len, what was that bleeping sound?

「レン」

Sorry, Rin, but you can't swear on my show, so all your #$!$ and %$& will be bleeped.

「リン」

You know what Len you can go $%#&!&#$*^& in #^%&*(!^ with a ^&!*#$%!

「レン」

See? Comin in handy already.

「リン」

#$5^%$!

「レン」

Anyway, people, if you want the show to continue, pay your tickets. I'M NOT DOING THIS FOR NOTHING.

「リン」

Len, you started this because you were bored.

...

**(Awkward silence)**

「レン」

Okay, awkward silence of the week is over.

Lets read today's fanmail. This is one I've gotten a lot lately, and it says:

_Len,  
__I've heard that people can learn Japanese by watching Anime. Is this true or not? Thanks!  
__- Ilovesesshysmex85_

Good question, Ilovesesshysmex69! ..nice name by the way.. and the answer is – NO! You can't, because real Japanese folk don't talk like say, Naruto (unless of course you're a cosplayer). But, I have good news!

…

(whispers) Rin, you're supposed to ask me the good news..!

**(Rin rolls her eyes)**

「リン」

What's the good news?

「レン」

The good news is it still _helps_ you. I mean come on, how many of you know what yuri, yaoi, baka, teme, omae, anata, iku, sushi, and banzai mean?

**(Everyone in the audience except for a green kid in the front raises their hand)**

「レン」

It's okay, Beast Boy, I still love you.

「ビスト ボイ」

Thanks dude.

「リン」

Who the $%* let the Teen Titans into Japan?

「レン」

(ignoring her) But my point is this: Anime will still help you learn the language, because you need to be exposed to it. Just _don't_ copycat. Anime are tools for learning in a fun way! We are tools!

「リン」

Len, you just called yourself a tool.

「レン」

…

…

That's all the time we have for today BYE!

「リン」

Len we still have-

「レン」

I SAID BYE!

**(the credits abruptly come up)**

* * *

Words – 0


	3. Ep 1: The Alphabets

**THE KAGAMINE SHOW**

_(corny theme music) It's the Kagamine woooorrrddd shoooowwwww~_

「レン」

Welcome to our first official episode! Five of you paid your tickets, and Rin's a little bit happier today.

**(Rin is sitting on the couch eating ice cream)**

「レン」

Yes, people, we got a couch! And a CHAIR!

**(Audience ooos and aaaahhhs)**

「レン」

I KNOW!

**(Len sits on the chair across from Rin)**

「レン」

So, let's start off by reading today's fanmail. Today's is from another anonymous, and she said:

_I have a question. Is learning the word in romaji first hurting my learning or helping it? Oh and Rin? *hands ticket money*.  
__Sayonara!  
__- KokoroxKiskei_

**(Rin pocketed the money immediately upon taking the letter)**

「リン」

$%^& yeah.

「レン」

And a good question! Before I can answer it, though, I'm going to talk about the four alphabets. Yes, FOUR! Rin, the slides please.

**(Rin clicks a remote to project slides behind Len)**

The four alphabets are:

**(click)**

Romajii – which looks like this, but the pronunciation is the key.

**(click)**

Hiragana – ひらがなですよ、easiest to tell by it's script. The strokes are all curvy-like and used in parts of kanji, as well as for normal, native words.

**(click)**

Katakana – カタカナダヨネ、the sound system is the same as Hiragana, but as you can see the strokes are sharper and basically just lines. It's used for foreign words, like コーヒー (cohi – coffee) or ケーキ （keki – cake)

**(click)**

Kanji – 漢字、the picture system, borrowed from the Chinese (Japanese are sneaky, see). These are used for instant visuals in writing. The only problem is that there are so many, and there are even more combinations. For example, this character means "ahead"

先

and this one means "to live"

生

but, when you put them together, you get 先生 (sensei – teacher). So, "born ahead" is literally what sensei means.

「にゃんこ先生」

Damn right.

「レン」

Thank you, Nyanko-sensei. But in real life we would never call our cats sensei.

「にゃんこ先生」

I'm not a cat!

「レン」

That's enough for the slides. Arigatou, Rin.

「リン」

Mhm.

「レン」

So, to answer today's fanmail – finally – I would say don't concentrate on romajii, because you already know it! If you want to learn Japanese, the best way is to learn the characters in THAT order. Hiragana, then Katakana, then Kanji. Anything else to add, Rin?

「リン」

When you know Hiragana and Katakana, you'll be able to pronounce the language right. If you pronounced (cohi) from above as (caw-high) and not (coh-hee) then you should probably study Hiragana.

「レン」

Also, pictures are easy. Notice how 生 (to live) looks like a plant. Depending on how you learn things, Kanji will either be very easy or very hard.

Anyway, let's bring in today's guest!

**(Audience claps politely and Shinome Hitomi comes in)**

「レン」

Hajimemashite, Hitomi-sensei.

「ひとみ先生」

Hajimemashite.

「レン」

For those of you who don't know her, Hitomi-sensei is the teacher from Loveless.

**(Audience goes ooooohhhh)**

「レン」

Sorry, but we couldn't afford anyone too famous. Not that you aren't important, sensei!

**(Hitomi's cat ears twitch as she blushes, a little irritated)**

「レン」

So, what words can you throw at us today, sensei?

「ひとみ先生」

Well, what I hear all the time is "ohayo!" you know.

「レン」

Ah, as a teacher you would hear that a lot, huh?

「ひとみ先生」

Mm. (ん)

「レン」

"Ohayo" means good morning. It's the word you'll hear a _lot_. If you want to be extra polite (and always go the polite way, in my humble opinion) add ~gozaimasu. Say ohayo gozaimasu to the next person you meet. But never to Bella Swan. EVER.

「リン」

It sounds like the state Ohio.

「レン」

Bella Swan lives in Forks, Rin.

「リン」

That's not what I meant-

「ひとみ先生」

I'm sorry, but what is your cameraman doing?

「レン」

_Kaito!_ Stop shaking the camera!

「KAITO」

Sorry, but this chick keeps poking me-

「レン」

Audience, hentai days are on Saturdays! STOP MOLESTING KAITO. STOP IT!

**(Audience boos)**

「ひとみ先生」

Do I get paid for coming here..?

「リン」

Kaito don't trip over the-

**(credits)**

* * *

Words - 9

Kohi/cohi (coffee)

Keki (cake – the ke is a bit long, like kehhki)

Sensei 先生(teacher)

Ohayo (Mornin' – I'd only use it casually with friends)

Ohayo gozaimasu (Good morning, polite)

Hentai (pervert – if you're a girl and want help, yelling HENTAI might get you attention. But, train groping is pretty common, so sorry, ladies).

ん(n/m) You might have noticed Hitomi-sensei say this above. It's sort of like agreement but also not, I'll explain it in more detail some other time.

先 (ahead)

生 (to live)

Bonus - "Nyan" in Nyanko-sensei means meow. Cats go nya nya in Japan


	4. Ep 2: Punctuation and Circles Apparently

**THE KAGAMINE SHOW**

_(corny theme music) It's the Kagamine woooorrrddd shoooowwwww~_

「レン」

Hi again! We have a short show tonight, because Rin decided to cheat.

「リン」

It's not cheating, otouto.

「レン」

YES IT IS! And because of Rin's cheating face that cheats, _she's_ going to host today's show.

「リン」

Yay! And I get to talk about circles (wink)

「レン」

She means punctuation.

「リン」

No, I mean circles!

。

「リン」

See?

「レン」

Where is that coming from?

「リン」

Circles are what replaces periods in Japanese, so congratulations – you can draw circles! End everything in Japanese like this。Easy right? (yasashii ne?)

「レン」

Boring. _Next._

「リン」

Fine. You might have also noticed these things around our names 「」 Well, the best way I can describe that as are _quotations_. If you're recalling what someone said (in writing, of course) you can do something like this -

I remember Miku told me 「ジュースが好き」、yesterday, so I'll go buy her some juice.

「レン」

Seriously,_ how are we seeing this?_

「リン」

Shut up, Len, today it's MY turn and it doesn't have to make sense.

「レン」

But-

「リン」

MY WAY!

**(Rin kicks Len off the stage, out the back door and onto the street)**

「リン」

...Anywho! 「」 are also used for people names, like the floating letters above me. But, I mostly only see this done in unofficial things, or in games.

「KAITO]

Like in BL games?

**(Rin suddenly gets hearts in her eyes)**

「リン」

Yes – like in BL games!

**(Len comes back in covered in scrapes)**

「レン」

What the $%% Rin? And who the #$^ bleeped me only I'm allowed to hit the #$%^&) bleep button!

「KAITO]

(snickers)

「リン」

That brings me to my last punctuation thingy, and it's this ー It's a lengthening mark, so whenever you see it, that means something should be pronounced longer. So when you see あーin manga (a ~) Well, you can guess what it means.

**(Rin giggles)**

「レン」

..stupid..

「リン」

_What?_

「レン」

(scared) N-nothing!

「リン」

Do you have something _against_ fangirls, Len?

「レン」

N-no! Never! I didn't say that! I love fangirls and they're..um..acts of rape and um.. RIN GET AWAY FROM ME!

「リン」

Kaito, turn the camera off.

「レン」

HEL-

**(black to end credits)**

* * *

Words – 3

Otouto (little brother/little bro, still respectful)

Yasashii ne? (yasashii – easy, ne-yeah,right,see,you agree? Ect. Yasashii can also mean kind, but the kanji for them is different)

Ju-su ga suki (Basically "I like juice." This is what was written in Rin's 「」 example.)

Also, one Rin didn't mention are commas. 、 They're the same but slanted the other way.


	5. Ep 3: The First Tips and Tricks

**THE KAGAMINE SHOW**

_(corny theme music) It's the Kagamine woooorrrddd shoooowwwww~_

「レン」

Welcome back! Today all we-

**(Rin sticks out her foot and trips Len, who falls flat on his face)**

「レン」

%^*#$^% RIN! Cut, Kaito, CUT!

「KAITO」

Yeah, yeah. Let's try that again, people-

**THE KAGAMINE SHOW**

_(corny theme music) It's the Kagamine woooorrrddd shoooowwwww~_

**(Rin is whistling innocently in the corner)**

「レン」

(bruise on his head) Welcome back! Today all we have is some general #$%, but after this episode, well you'd better get ready to start memorizing a lot of words.

**(Rin nods behind Len)**

「レン」

Our job is to be helpful in studying Japanese, with the two T's for TIPS and TRICKS.

**(Rin snickers)**

「リン」

Or two T's for-

「レン」

RIN! We have kids in the audience!

「リン」

I doubt it-

「レン」

SO, remember that while I _can_ teach you, I'm not a teacher. I'm your show host. (wink)

「リン」

And he's your tool.

「レン」

Yes, and I'm your-DAMNIT RIN.

**(innocent smile)**

「レン」

Anyway, let's get right to our first tip. Since we don't have a special guest, let's pull someone from the audience! IS THERE AN AMERICAN IN THE AUDIENCE?

**(Beast Boy jumps up and down)**

「レン」

SOMEONE THAT_ ISN'T _BEAST BOY?

**(girl with golden hair and a tiny crown raises her hand)**

「レン」

Come on up, miss!

**(Price is Right music plays as Mio comes on stage)**

「レン」

I know. We're so poor we had to borrow other people's theme music.

「リン」

You know that's illegal, right, Len?

「レン」

So, the spunky lady from DN Angel. Can you answer a question for me?

「ミオ」

Sure!

「レン」

You know how westerns ask "how are you" all the time?

「ミオ」

Yeah.

「レン」

Be honest – do you _really_ care how they are?

「ミオ」

Haha! Um, no, not all the time, but it's not rude or anything. It's just a way to make conversation, you know?

「レン」

Thank you, that's all I needed. You can go ahead and take Rin's seat.

**(Mio sits on the couch, ignoring the angry Rin)**

「レン」

One of the first things you might have learned in Japanese is "genki desu ka?" げんきですか。or "o genki desu ka?" をげんきですか。Most textbooks will tell you this means "how are you," but I DON'T LIKE THAT. IT'S A LIE.

**(audience gasps)**

「レン」

YES. And here on the Kagamine Show we HATE TEXTBOOKS.

「リン」

Yeah!

「レン」

WE EAT THEM FOR BREAKFAST!

「リン」

YEAH! AND WE MAKE THEM WATCH CHICK FLICKS!

「レン」

AND SPIT ON THEM!

「リン」

AND KICK THEM OUT WINDOWS!

「レン」

AND BURN THEM!

「リン」

AND TIE THEM TO THEIR BEDS WITH FUZZY HANDCUFFS AS A MEANS OF FOREPLAY!

**(everyone stares at Rin)**

「リン」

What?

「レン」

(very awkward) ..anyway, "o genki desu ka" doesn't really mean "how are you." It means "how have you _been_." Doesn't seem too different, but it is. You have to _actually care_ if you want to ask it to someone.

**(Len walks around the stage)**

「レン」

If you saw someone you just saw the other day, you wouldn't ask them how they were. Because you just saw them yesterday! It's much more common to just say "konnichiwa" (hello) or even "Ah, -name of person here-!"

Our other tip or trick today is sumimasen すみません, another easy. This is usually translated as "excuse me" but I would say it's closer to meaning "sorry." If you bump into someone, you can say sumimasen. If you step on someone's foot, you can say sumimasen. If you need to interrupt a talking group to say something, you can say sumimasen. If you hit your friend across the face with a book by accident – _then_ you can say gomen/gomensai (sorry).

「リン」

Remember kids, only real friends let you hit them with books!

**(Len nods)**

「レン」

Well, that looks like all the time we have for today. We were going to discuss whether to do Hiragana or not, but it looks like we're out of time.

「リン」

_Will_ we do Hiragana?

「レン」

Depends. It doesn't sound like it'd be very fun to teach, but it depends on what the audience wants. What do you recommend for Hiragana, Katakana, and Kanji learners, Rin?

「リン」

Jisho (dotorg) is a reliable dictionary, and Genkijapan (dotnet) is good for beginners, but won't take you very far. Richard is also very nice to the members of that site.

「レン」

Sou, sou. Anyway, see you next time-

「リン」

Fanmail, Len!

「レン」

Oh, yeah. Today's mail is from The Dark Puppet Mistress - awesome name - and she said:

_This has been helpful :)_

_Quick question that I think I know the answer to but just wanted to check.  
__Is hiragana used on websites like Nico Nico Douga or is it another one of the alphabets?  
__- The Dark Puppet Mistress_

「レン」

Thanks for your question! Niconico, like almost _all_ other websites, uses all three. Using Kanji, Hiragana and Katakana together is the norm. The good news is, once you know it, it's really much easier, because you get instant visuals and can more easily tell purpose or context by how it's written. I know it might sound like hard work, but if you're serious about learning Japanese, you gotta learn _all three!_

That's all for today. Want to sign us off, Rin?

「リン」

Someone get this $#%& off my couch!

**(credits)**

* * *

Words - 10

o genki desu ka? (how have you been?) literally (well being is it?) the Kanji literally means something like that, or even 'origin of character/spirit'

元気 = genki 元 = origin 気 = spirit/mood

o - を (makes things polite, can be dropped) If you started to learn Hiragana, you'll see they say to pronounce it as "wo." You can write it like that, but when speaking you still say it like "o" (saying wo is very old fashioned, as in like _no one_ does it - don't do it!)

genki (healthy, cheerful, lively)

desu (it is, that is, this is – dictionary definitions will probably say "to be" and while that's right just remember it's more like "this, that, it is, I am, ect" genki desu is "it is healthy" (I am healthy/fine)

ka か(marks a question, think of it as a ?)

sumimasen (excuse me/sorry)

gomenasai (sorry, a deeper apology than sumimasen, don't say it if you don't mean it)

gomen (informal form of gomenasai)

sou, sou (sort of like "that's right, that's right" or "mhm, mhm." Sou desu ne means "is that so?" to compare)

Bonus – if you want to get someone's attention, you can also use あの。。(Ano..) instead of sumimasen. Ano sort of means "please pay attention to me." Saying "Ano, sumimasen" is also very good and polite, and I would use it if you need to ask a stranger something. Always be polite to strangers in this culture.

Also, I'm aware fanfiction doesn't like websites being posted, but since both are educational and not promotional I'm sure they'll let it slide.


	6. Ep 4: Yes and No

**THE KAGAMINE SHOW**

_(corny theme music) It's the Kagamine woooorrrddd shoooowwwww~_

「レン」

Welcome back! Today we're teaching you a lot of easies again, because if you're an anime junkie you probably know this – but, it's good to get through them anyway. Let's run through it fast, Rin, and then we'll get to something more challenging. Tell me all the ways you can think of to say "yes!"

「リン」

Hai! Un! Ee! Yoshi! Wakatta!

「レン」

Thanks Rin, now let's break it down:

**(another slideshow from behind pops up)**

はい hai – yes affirmative, common and formal

うん un – informal way of yes. I mostly hear this with cutesy girls all genki-like (UN!) or with guys who are saying it softly, for a casual affect (un..) (whatever..)

ええ ee (said ehhh) – a casual but still polite way of saying yes (you can use this while someone is speaking to show you're listening and it's still polite, in fact I recommend it)

よし！yoshi - No, it's not the dinosaur Mario rides, sorry. The "i" in yoshi in this case is silent, so it's really just (YOSHH!) I don't know how to put what this means into words all the way, but it's sort of like a motivator (All right! Is the closest – I can't translate that well). To give an idea though, if someone had just had a really bad experience, and then decided to do something about it, they might get up and say よし！before going to face the issue. It still loosely means yes, but isn't used like the others.

わかった wakatta – this is used so often I had to put it. It means "I understood" (wakarimasu is to understand, and this is past tense) but it's translated as "got it!" or "Understood!"

「レン」

And now, for no. It's good to know how to say yes, but no is of course important too. Rin?

「リン」

Iie! Iya!

「レン」  
Thanks Rin – いいえ and いや, iya being very informal. Seems like there's only two ways to say no, right?

「リン」

Yup.

「レン」

WRONG! There's actually _hundreds_ of ways. If you want to decline something, or say 'no, I didn't do that' use the negative ません(masen). For example, yomimasu = to read. So, yomimasen (I didn't read, I don't want to read, no read). If you add か (ka) to the end of it, then you're inviting someone to read with you, so be careful with that.

「レン」

And now – A STARING CONTEST.

**(Len stares intently at Rin)**

「リン」

Len, you're weirding me out..

「レン」

I'm trying to prove a point, here.

「リン」

Prove it fast before I punch you.

「レン」

OKAY – the point is that extended eye contact is usually awkward, uncomfortable – and even a threat to other. In America, you would just stare at the person who's talking to show your interested, right? Well, staring at a Japanese person like that is _really weird_. As in, they might even think you're a threat kind of weird. You can look at them of course, but it's polite to look away sometimes, to nod, or to say "uh-huh, yeah, I'm listening" (just say "ee").

ALL RIGHT – I'm getting bored, so let's do this.

**(Len holds up a sign with two T's on it)**

「リン」

Yay! It's time for our titties of the day.

「レン」

It stands for TIPS and TRICKS $%& damnit!

「リン」

(giggles) Whatever, otouto..

「レン」

Our T's for the day are using "hai" (formal yes) from above. The tip is: don't overuse it! Using hai over and over again will make you sound overly affirmative, overly energetic, ect – sometimes even like a soldier (hai can also mean 'yes sir'). So, if you don't want to sound like that all the time, use different ways of saying 'yes.' There are lots of ways to say yes in english too – all right, okay, yeah, sure, uh-huh, ect.

And speaking of okay, Japanese use OK a lot (in fact, that's a universal thing) or okke おっけ which is the same but in Hiragana.

「レン」

And, looks like we're done for the day. Sign us off, Rin.

「リン」

If our viewers can't say yes or no I'm going to have to #$ %$ their #$#% with a gardening hose.

「レン」

…Thanks, Rin.

**(credits)**

**(GUYS, WE NOW HAVE SPECIAL EFFECTS – EVERYONE'S NAME F**'in **_**SPARKLES**_**. THIS S**T IS **_**RAD**_**. NO HOMO. OKAY MAYBE A LITTLE HOMO.)  
**

**Host – Len Kagamine**

**Co-Host – Rin Kagamine**

**Director – Lun Yokune**

**Camera, Effects, and Guy Who Stops Rin From Killing The Audience – KAITO**

**Groupies – Luka Megurine, Miku Hatsune, and MEIKO**

**Executive Producer – Gakupo**

**Tickets and Admission – Haku**

* * *

Words – 7

Hai, un, ee, yoshi, wakatta – Yes (loosely)

Iie, iya – No (iya is more like 'quit it!' or 'GET THE F*** AWAY FROM ME!)


	7. Ep 5: What The EFF Do You Want

**THE KAGAMINE SHOW**

_(corny theme music) It's the Kagamine woooorrrddd shoooowwwww~_

「レン」

Welcome back everyone. I'm sorry to inform you that Rin has officially broken the swear bleeper-

「リン」

Ready to learn, motherfuckers?

「レン」

..and she's enjoying it.

「リン」

DONKEY ASS!

「レン」

So, because of this and Rin's constant use of violence on the show, we've had to bump up the rating to M. Nice going, Rin.

「リン」

C:

「レン」

As a special, Rin's going to teach you some swear words. The only problem is, Japanese is such a humble language there really isn't any. Kuso (shit) and aho (sounds like asshole, but it really just means 'fool' in a more intense degree than 'baka) are really all that I can think of. They just don't exist. And Spanish has _so many._ Language is language, I guess.

So, if you want to insult someone, you're going to have to get creative. Like, you're so fat the ground shakes.

「リン」

Or 'your momma is so old, when I told her to act her age she died.'

「レン」

D:

「リン」

:D

**(Gakupo suddenly rushes onto the stage with papers in his hands, waving them around)**

「がくぽ」

Oi! I just got your ratings, and it's down the toilet! If you don't get some new ideas, we're not getting any dinner!

「レン」

But I just bought a new couuuuuuuuch-

「リン」

We're doing _fine_ Gakupo _relax._

「がくぽ」

You're popularity is shit.

**(Rin points at herself)**

「リン」

Um, _hello_. Cutest synthesizer in the _world._

「がくぽ」

Get some better learning ideas, or we're canceling. You have ONE person in the audience.

**(Beast Boy waves from the stands)**

**(Gakupo marches off the stage)**

「レン」

Er… please don't let us be murdered by Gakupo. Give us some script ideas in the post box outside. You know, that one that Haku peed in the other day because she was mad at Miku for stealing her soda and so we got a new one and it has a picture of my face on it going :D with a thumbs up and some bananas because I like bananas. Yeah. That one.

**(pause)**

「レン」

Rin, are we going to starve?

「KAITO」

Len, if you and Rin were abandoned in a box on the street with a FREE KITTIES sign I'm sure _someone_ would buy you.

「リン」

And make him a kitty sex slave.

「レン」

Rin, get your head out of the gutter and into the show!

「リン」

We were all thinking it, okay?

「レン」

I guess we're done today. Didn't really learn anything. Credits?

「KAITO」

Credits.

**(cred-**

**(screen goes blurry for a moment)**

**ATTENTION. THIS IS THE DIRECTOR SPEAKING.**

**THIS SHIT IS FUCKING BORING. IF YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT TO LEARN, I'M NOT TEACHING IT. NO. OKAY? NO. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU GUYS WANT?**

**The alphabet? Animals? Classes? What to say when someone hits you over the head with a frying pan? How to read Harry Potter in Japanese I DON'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW ANYMORE WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN.**

**I DID NOT TAKE MY MEDS TODAY. $^#%^#$^%^#$%**

**We now return to your regularly scheduled credits.**

**(credits)**

**Host – Len Kagamine**

**Co-Host – Rin Kagamine**

**Director – Lun Yokune**

**Camera, Effects, and Guy Who Stops Rin From Killing The Audience – KAITO**

**Groupies – Luka Megurine, Miku Hatsune, and MEIKO**

**Executive Producer – Gakupo**

**Tickets and Admission – Haku**

**BEAST BOY – As Himself**

**God I hate Beast Boy.**

* * *

Words – 3

Baka – idiot/stupid

Kusso/Kuso – shit (if you need to motivate yourself, you can say shit. I've heard little kids use this before, so while it's frowned upon it's not like here, where everyone's like OMG THAT LITTLE KID SAID FUCK).

Aho – idiot/asshole


	8. Ep 6: Episode Sexy

**THE KAGAMINE SHOW**

_(corny theme music) It's the Kagamine woooorrrddd shoooowwwww~_

**(Len and Rin are lounging provocatively on the couch, Len drinking a banana smoothie and Rin a glass of lemonade. They are both in swimsuits.)**

「レン」

Why hello, kittens. Welcome to episode 6 – AKA episode _sexy_.

**(Audience ooo's)**

「リン」

We're very pressed for time today, so we decided to do nothing but fanmail – you know, kick back, relax, sip suggestively from our cups-

**(Rin licks her lips and takes a drink)**

「レン

Why are we like this, you ask? Well, first of all, it's because I'm Len Kagamine, and I am the epitome of sexiness and cuteness-

「リン」

That's actually _my_ line, otouto. I make the fanboys _swoon._

**(Rin winks)**

「レン」

You keep telling yourself that, sis. Anyway, it came from our first question. *Ahem*

_Can we learn what to say to our crush?_

-_ ImmortalDarkPassion_

Glad you reminded me of it. Actually, there are a few ways to woo and declare your love to those passionate lords or ladies… unfortunately, it will never be really sexy – love declarations are almost always 'meaningful' or 'cute.' Well, here's three different ways-

好き- Suki (I like you)

大好き- Daisuki (I _really_ like you). The characters literally mean "big like"

愛してる – Aishiteru (I love you)

Okay, so guys, there's something I feel like I should mention here. Y'know how Americans can say "I love pizza!" and it's normal? NO, okay. You don't love pizza. You LIKE pizza. So while saying "Pizza ga suki" is fine, you should never say "pizza ga aishiteru." The word 'love' (ai – 愛; an easy way to remember it is that it's the kanji on Gaara's head, if you know Naruto) isn't thrown around so easily. It's just not.

**(Len brings out a piece of paper)**

**LEN'S LOVE CHART**

Stuff or people you like: SUKI

Girlfriends or boyfriends you seriously like: DAISUKI

Married couples and shit: AISHITERU  
。

"dai" (大 this character) means "big." Unfortunately it also looks like the character for dog (犬 inu). So, er, think of a big dog, but the big dog has a line on it. Or something. I probably just confused you more.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

And, just to make sure we keep this episode sexy-

**(Len pulls a rose out of nowhere and puts it between his teeth)**

Yeah. _Sexy._

「リン」

Moving on to our next question.

**(Rin pulls out the letter)**

「リン」

Please tell me how to say and write sister and brother. And this has really been helpful to me.

Also would you happen to know what this д is? Or means?

_Aika-tan_

Well, I'd love to tell you how to refer to your siblings, because I myself have a very annoying younger brother-

「レン」

Hey-!

「リン」

**Younger brother:**

Otouto 弟 (little bro)

**Older brother:**

Aniki 兄貴

Onii san/chan 兄さん/ちゃん(depending on honorific, also can just be "Niisan" – the "O" = politeness)

Ani ＝兄

「レン」

I get to do sisters.

「リン」

Whatever.

「レン」

**Younger sister:**

Imouto 妹

**Older sister:**

(just like older brother but "nee" and not "nii")

Aneki姉貴

Onee san/chan 姉さん/ちゃん

Ane = 姉

「リン」

And the next part of the lovely question – this thing.

д

Len, do you know what the hell that is?

「レン」

Nope. So here's a face.

(o д o)

「リン」

It's probably Korean, Len. Looks like it. Oh no, our sexiness is fading! I'll bring it back.

**(Rin winks and pulls one of her straps off her shoulder)**

**(Audience whistles)**

「レン」

STOP EYEBALLING MY SISTER YOU PERVERTS.

**(Rin pulls the other one down)**

「レン」

NEXT. NEXT!

_Maybe could you teach some honorifics? Like, you know, -san and stuff ._. I only know, like, four _ _*bows*_ Teach us, o great Sensei Teeeeeach usssss_

_- Anonymous_

They called me great. (blush)

「リン」

Line up, mind slaves! Liiiiine uuup-

「レン」

Sorry guys. Rin has evil tendencies. Adorable, ne? Well, here's a few honorifics.

-sensei (teacher)

-kun (boys only, it's sort of studently but common)

-chan (affection. People use it on babies, Len, pets, girlfriends, Len, cute girls, friends, siblings, and Len. It can be used on boys but unless he's a shota nudge nudge or your boyfriend, don't use it. It's insulting his manhood)

-san (this is translated as Mrs. or Mr. but FUCK THAT. Buttfuckit to next week. You can also use it on friends you are respectful with or don't really know, or anyone you want to be particularly nice to. It's polite but not to any extremes; and this is the most common way to refer to someone. If you're not sure what honorfic to use, use –san and you'll always be right.

-sama (deep respect. To give an idea on how insanely respectful this is, God is called Kami-sama. I've heard of people using it on their boss to try and sound more polite, but to me it just sounded like they were sucking up).

-senpai (a student superior. It's spelled せんぱい [senpai] but this character ん - n is also read as ん- m. So you can say it sempai, which sounds more natural)

-kohai (a student lower than you. This isn't rude)

I gave you seven, so hopefully you learned something.

All right, let's wrap up today's show. We need one more sexy thing for episode _sexy._

**(Len whips out a banana. We are leaving that to your imagination. You perverts.)**

「リン」

Thanks to everyone who keeps sending us bananas, they keep our smoothies coming. Um, Len, you can stop that now.

「レン」

Yno something sis? I don't even want to.

「リン」

Wow. Uh huh. That looks – oh wow. What are you doing with-? Oooohhh. See guys? We are rewarding your efforts with porn.

「レン」

LEARNING IS FUN!

**(Cuts to Miku and Luka fighting with the blender backstage. They are in charge of making the smoothies and it's not going well.)**

**(credits)**

**Host – Len Kagamine**

**Co-Host – Rin Kagamine**

**Director – Lun Yokune**

**Camera, Effects, and Guy Who Stops Rin From Killing The Audience – KAITO**

**Groupies – Luka Megurine, Miku Hatsune, and MEIKO**

**Executive Producer – Gakupo**

**Tickets and Admission – Haku**

**WARNING. We now have a rabid squirrel that checks the fanmail. He has no name as of yet. BE CAREFUL WHEN YOU PUT SHIT IN THE POSTBOX. Bastard likes to hide in there. That is all.**

* * *

Words – 21 (counting honorifics)

好き- Suki (like)

大好き- Daisuki (big like).

愛してる – Aishiteru (I love you)

愛- Ai (love) Koi is also a way to say love as a noun. And Koibito = lovers. +2

大 – Dai (big). A more common way to say big is "okii" 大きい

犬 – Inu (dog). We learned this already but not the kanji. Neko is cat. 猫 +1

Otouto 弟 (little bro)

(all these mean older brother)

Aniki 兄貴 (this is sort of used in a tougher sense. The only example I can think of that most people have heard of is that the characters of Inuyasha call Seshomaru Inuyasha's "aniki." The Kokiri children in the Japanese version of Zelda also called Mido aniki now that I think about it).

Onii san/chan 兄さん/ちゃん

Ani ＝兄

Imouto 妹 (little sister)

(all these mean older sister)

Aneki姉貴

Onee san/chan 姉さん/ちゃん

Ane = 姉

^Because we learned honorifics, you can add some of them to your siblings now. Annoying little brother? Don't even give him an honorific (like Rin does). Love your big brother to death? Oniisama. Typical but close relationship? Niisan. Older than you but for some reason likes to dress up in a skirt? Niichan.

-sensei

-kun

-chan

-san

-sama

-sempai

-kohai

If you want the meanings for those SCROLL BACK UP. I'm not doing it again.

A way to say sexy is "etchi." +1

* * *

Total: 25


	9. Ep 7: Fuck These Squirrels

**THE KAGAMINE SHOW**

_(beat boxing)_ _It's the-the-the (b-b-b-boom-t-dsh) Kagamine Word (bdbdbdbdbd –boom) Shoooowww~ (FUCK YEAH!)_

**(Len comes onstage and throws a chair at the audience)**

**(audience screams)**

「レン」

You're lucky there's not a lot of you in the audience otherwise I would've just FUCKING KILLED SOMEONE!

「リン」

Len is MAD today!

「レン」

Yeah! Wanna know why I'm mad?

「リン」

Tell em, Len!

「レン」

Because that FUCKING squirrel bit me on the FUCKING ASS! Look!

**(Len turns around and pulls down his pants)**

**(Some of the audience gasps at the bite mark, but most of the fangirls just fainted)**

「レン」

I KNOW! Everyone knows my ass is the property of KAITO. And sometimes Rin on the weekends..

「リン」

Len how did he even bite you there? You're supposed to stick your _hand_ into the post box not your-

「レン」

I'M NOT PAYING YOU TO ASK QUESTIONS.

「リン」

YOU DON'T PAY ME AT ALL!

「KAITO」

Can we get to the _lesson_ you guys?

「レン」

FINE. But my boy bottom does NOT appreciate-

「リン」

Okay, guys! Today we're going to play a game. Everyone in the audience can participate. The game is called:

The ANIMAL GAME. AKA "動物ゲーム" (Doubutsu ge-mu)

**Rules:** Rin yells an animal and Len has to think of someone or something related to it so you bastards will remember. For those playing at home, say the word out loud. Learning things are easy – we do it all the time – but _retaining_ something is different. If you say it out loud, the left side of your brain will remember better.

Ready, otouto?

**(Len cracks his knuckles)**

「レン」

If anyone can make bunnies badass IT'S LEN FLIPPIN KAGAMINE.

**(Numbers appear from a screen behind them).**

3..

2..

1..

**START!**

「リン」

Cat!

「レン」

Neko! (猫) WE LEARNED THIS ALREADY. WE DON'T NEED A REFERENCE.

「リン」

Dog!

「レン」

Inu! (犬) We learned that too Rin. Come on!

「リン」

Unicorn!

「レン」

Yunikon! (ユニコーン) Charlie the FUCKING unicorn.

「リン」

Pig!

「レン」

Buta! (豚) It sounds like Puta – which is bitch in Spanish. Your mother was a PIG, BITCH!

「リン」

Weasel!

「レン」

ITATCHI (いたち). Sasuke's psycho brother is named Itatchi. WE NEED TO STOP REFERENCING NARUTO. I AM SO SICK OF NARUTO.

「リン」

Giraffe!

「レン」

Kirin! (きりん). I don't know why but this makes me think "killin'." GIRAFFES ARE MURDERERS.

「リン」

Lion!

「レン」

Raion! (ライオン) It sounds sort of the same. L doesn't exist in Japanese, so say goodbye to that letter. Why doesn't it exist? I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. STOP ASKING ME SHIT.

「リン」

Fox!

「レン」

Kitsune! (きつね). It has the word "kits" in it.

「リン」

Rabbit!

「レン」

Usagi! (うさぎ) That chick from sailor moon is called Usagi (I think).

「リン」

Kitties and puppies!

「レン」

Ko-inu or ko-neko. Just add ko (which can mean child – 子).

「リン」

Butterfly!

「レン」

Chouchou! (蝶々) That chick from Harry Potter was named Cho. She was hot. Er, cute. Like butterflies? What is this I don't even-

「リン」

Mouse!

「レン」

Nezumi! (ねずみ) If you have a rat, hamster, or mouse call it Nezumi-chan if you want. Same with other pets, -chan is used on pets.

「リン」

Squirrel!

「レン」

Kinezumi. (きねずみ) It's also has NEZUMI in it. Pretend squirrels and mice are long lost cousins or something I DON'T KNOW.

**GAME OVER**

「レン」

I WIN!

「リン」

Len, you can't really win that game-

「レン」

I WIN GOD DAMNIT. We should play another time, since there are so many animals in the world..

「リン」

Anything else you'd like to add about cute little doubutsu, Len?

「レン」

Yes. Yes I do. Okay, look. Shiro (白) = white. Kuma (熊) = bear. So guess what a Shirokuma (白熊) is? A polar bear. JAPANESE IS FUCKING EASY.

But, because of kanji, this concept doesn't always work. Let's look at swan. Shiro白(white again) and Tori 鳥 (bird) makes 白鳥. But, in this case, it's not read "shirotori." It's read Hakuchou. Hakuchou = swan. Note that "shirotori" is still a word. It just means "white bird."

I'm tired, Rin. Luka! Can you bring us the fanmail please?

**(Luka comes on stage with the letters. A squirrel is on her shoulder)**

**(Len gawks at Luka and the squirrel as they exit the stage)**

**(…..)**

「レン」

The squirrel.. it bit my ass and she's friends with.. the squirrel..

「リン」

…Len, are you okay?

「レン」

Just give me the fanmail…

「リン」

What?

「レン」

JUST GIVE ME THE FANMAIL.

_i want to know how to say: the stalker is right next to me.  
__in Japanese, because there is this stalker guy thing and he is always right next to me and i went to say it to my friends without him getting all pissed.  
__i love this thing your doing  
__-Darkluscia_

Well, you could say "tonari no sutaakaa" (the stalker next to me) となりのスターカー

Tonari = next to. It also means neighbor. A good way to remember that is the real title of My Neighbor Totoro (Tonari no totoro). It literally means next to, but you can use it on your neighbors…because they're next to you.

There's probably lots of ways to do that, but, that's the way I would do it that sounds most natural. He won't get pissed because it's not rude- and you can add pronouns and honorifics, like, "staka-san" if you want to be polite to him. You could also just say "watashi no staka" (my stalker). It's said with a lot of emphasis on the aaa's. StAAAAAkAAAAA.

Next:

_This is really helpful. But now that we know how to say love/like in Japanese then what about hate/dislike?  
__-Anonymous_

Hate and dislike is very similar to like and love. Remember 大(big / 'dai') we learned? We're using it again.

Dislike- 嫌いKirai

Hate/intense dislike- 大嫌いDaikirai

Kinezumi wa daikirai. I HATE SQUIRRELS.

Next:

_This is pretty awesome, but what about using no honorific?_

_And what's the difference in calling someone by their last name or their first name?_

_-Minori-chan13_

I would _always_ use an honorific unless you really, _really_ know someone or are connected with them somehow. Even talking to your _family _should always have some kind of honorific. It's rude not to use one with someone you don't really know, or if their like, your boss or something.

As for names, last names go first in Japan. I would always say "Kagamine Len", and with people I'm not close to they would call me "Kagamine-san". With Rin, though, it doesn't matter, because we know each other so well, but using –chan is still normal for siblings. So, with last names and honorifics, it's sort of the same thing. Always be polite and remember context.

Last thing before we go is this thing –

々

It looks like one of the katakana letters, ma (マ) but it's different (you can see the extra stroke). No, _this_ thing 々means to repeat a kanji. You can see it above in our example Chouchou. If you play music that should be easy to remember; it's like a repeat sign.

**(Celine Dion sings to today's credits)**

* * *

**Host – Len Kagamine**

**Co-Host – Rin Kagamine**

**Director – Lun Yokune**

**Camera, Effects, and Guy Who Stops Rin From Killing The Audience – KAITO**

**Groupies – Luka Megurine, Miku Hatsune, and MEIKO**

**Executive Producer – Gakupo**

**Tickets and Admission – Haku**

**Team Pet – Unnamed Squirrel That Likes Len's Ass**

* * *

**(abruptly cuts back to Len)**

「レン」

Okay, who the math let "My Heart Will Go On" play during the credits? FUCK TITANIC. And why did they make it come out in 3D? Jack drowns going _underwater_ AWAY from the screen. How is that in 3D? And he should be FLOATING IN THE FIRST PLACE! WHO PLAYED IT? Come on, SPEAK UP!

「ミク」

..me..

「レン」

YOU'RE FIRED!

**(Rin hides behind the curtains with MEIKO and is getting ready to tranquilize Len)**

「MEIKO」

Uh, Rin, I know we need to get Len to chill out, but aren't animal tranquilizers a little much?

「リン」

Relax, this is an animal special! And everyone knows Len will just come back if he dies. He does it all the time!

「MEIKO」

Well yeah but-

**(Rin fires a dart into Len's butt)**

**(Len collapses and Miku drags him off the stage)**

**(Rin winks at the screen)**

「リン」

Bye everyone!

* * *

Words-

IT'S TWO IN THE FUCKING MORNING. I'll do it later..


	10. Ep 8: College Life

**THE KAGAMINE SHOW**

_(upbeat)_ _It's the Kagamine Word sh-sh-sh-ow ~_

「レン」

Yo yo yo we're kickin it back here on the beach for spring break, CHECK IT. Cheddar cheese on a pimp sandwich, say WHAAAT –

「KAITO」

Cut, cut, cut! Len, what the hell are you doing?

「レン」

I'm trying to kick up my style. Yo.

**(Len puts on sunglasses and crosses his arms. Like a boss.)**

「KAITO」

Well stop it. You're weirding me out.

「リン」

It's not even spring break, Len.

「レン」

I know. In fact, it's that time again people – for _school_.

**(Audience boos)**

「レン」

Yeah yeah I know - College? High School? Middle School? No matter what you're doing, you're sure to feel the pressure of learning, right? It's a boring, stupid world where we have to learn things, right? WRONG! Rin, get the cannon.

**(Rin rolls a giant cannon on stage)**

「レン」

Okay, Kaito. Get your ass in there and prove learning can be fun.

「KAITO」

No way! You do it.

「レン」

I'll give you 10 tubs of ice cream.

「KAITO」

20.

「レン」

15.

「KAITO」

Deal.

**(Kaito gives the camera to Miku and goes to lay in the cannon)**

**3…**

**2…**

**1…**

**(A giant explosion erupts on stage)**

「KAITO」

Iiiiiiiiicceeeee creeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam –

**(Kaito shoots through the ceiling)**

**(sparkle)**

「リン」

…should we call an ambulance?

「レン」

..probably, yes.

And now everyone, put your hands together for today's special guest!

**(Audience cheers as Light Yagami comes onto stage)**

**(Rin's mouth hangs open as he takes a seat)**

「リン」

Len, this guy's a _serial killer_.

「レン」

He's the only college kid I could think of.. (shrugs)

「リン」

A _SERIAL KILLER?! _Yeah that'd be just great Len, the one day we get a special guest and everyone _dies_.

「レン」

No one's gonna die, Rin. Light knows if he kills me, he'll have my fangirls to deal with. And we all know how that'll end.

**(Light looks over his shoulder and sees a group of girls backstage. One of them is hitting her hand threateningly with a bat.)**

**(Light puts his Death Note away)**

「レン」

So Light, would you so kindly list us your schedule? Doesn't have to be exact, just some ideas of what people do.

**(Light sighs)**

「ライト」

All right, here it is:

The college life of Light Yagami

7:00 Okimasu 起きます

7:30 Shawa o abimasu シャワーを浴びます

8:00 Asagohan o tabemasu あさごはんを食べます

9:00 Gakkou ni ikimasu 学校に行きます

12:00 Hirugohan o tabemasu ひるごはんを食べます

7:00 Pa-ti ni ikimasu パーチに行きます

8:00 Uchi ni kaerimasu うちにかえります

9:00 De-su no-to o kakimasu デースノートを書きます

And now in English:

7:00 Wake up

7:30 Take a shower

8:00 Eat breakfast

9:00 Go to school

12:00 Eat Lunch

7:00 Go to a party

8:00 Return home

9:00 Write in Death Note

「レン」

…you go to wild college parties?

「ライト」

I don't want to talk about it.

「レン」

Well, thanks for that Light. Try using the 'masu' form we talked about in an earlier episode with these new words. For example, 'okimasu' (to wake up) 'okimasen' (To not wake up) 'okimashita' (I woke up – past) 'okimasendeshta (To not wake up – past).

Don't worry about particles, we'll cover them some other time. Just get used to the 'masu' form, and seeing things backwards. Everything above is literally "shower I went under" "breakfast I ate" "school I went." Easy, is learning :D

Well, guess we should wrap this up - it's been a long day. Fanmail please, Rin.

**(Rin gives Len today's fanmail)**

_1. You said that there is no L in Japanese. What about Len? He has an L in his name._

_2. I need to know how to say, "Please leave me alone." There's this annoying girl that always invades my personal space, and I just want to say that to her without her crying like an idiot._

_P.S. You two are awesome.  
__- Epic-Pachirisu15_

For the first question - Great observation! I give you a cookie for your keen eye.

Len's name レン technically reads Ren. Here's the thing – L doesn't exist, but the way 'R' is pronounced is very _close_ to 'L'. It's a sort of cross between L and R – try saying "Len" but with the L barely touching your mouth. It's sort of like that. I really don't know how to put that sound into words, but if you listen to any native speaker us any ra – ro character (ra ri ru re ro) (らりるれろ or ラリルレロ) you'll hear it. It's sort of like why when they say 'french fry' it also sounds like 'french fly.' There's even an example in today's show – Light's name is actually being spelled as Raito.

As for the second part of the question, I'll answer it along with the next one.

_So, like, how do you tell people to do stuff in japanese?_

_For example:  
__"Wash the dishes" or "Wear this skirt" or "Eat this cat" or "Take off your clothes and get in this bed" or "Piko, stop wearing those panties, you're a boy damnit" or "Give me back my pants"  
__- Bitch-please-I'm-Fabulous_

So the questions are basically the same – how to make a command, how to tell someone to do something. It's called the –te form. Let's use 'okimasu' as an example again – oki_tte _kudasai. (Please wake up). To add 'please', just add kudasai. If you don't add kudasai, it's really rude and makes you seem really demanding.

I'm glad you all asked this question, because the –te form is my favorite form. I don't know why. It just is.

Houtteoite (leave me alone)

^that comes from the root houru – to abandon/leave alone

Shoki wa araute kudasai (please wash the dishes)

Nugette to kitte (undress and come here o.O) 脱げってと来って I have never had to say that. I hope that wasn't meant for us Rin . I'm booked this week.

Neko o tabette. (eat the cat)

Depending on the verb, the –te form can change so it doesn't sound as weird. Like yon_de_ kudasai (please read) or non_de_ kudasai (please drink).

There's more to the –tte form, but that's the basic gist of it.

That's all the time we have today folks. Want to sign us off, Light?

「ライト」

I hate you all.

* * *

**(credits)**

**Host – Len Kagamine**

**Co-Host – Rin Kagamine**

**Director – Lun Yokune**

**Camera, Effects, and Guy Who Stops Rin From Killing The Audience – KAITO**

**Groupies – Luka Megurine, Miku Hatsune, and MEIKO**

**Executive Producer – Gakupo**

**Tickets and Admission – Haku**

**Team Pet – Unnamed Squirrel that likes Len's Ass**

**CONTEST: You guys can name the squirrel. Has to be related to either Japanese or Len's ass.**

* * *

**(meanwhile, Kaito landed in an ice cream factory and is swimming around in it to his heart's content)**

「KAITO」

Dreams do come true ・ω ・omnom

* * *

Words

Okimasu – to wake up

Abimasu – to take a shower. Abimasu doesn't actually mean 'to take'. It means 'to be dowsed in water'. Either way, it's only used for showering or bathing. (Shawa o abimasu)

Tabemasu - to eat 食べます

Asa – morning

Hiru – afternoon

Yoru – night

Gohan – meal

So…

Asagohan – breakfast

Hirugohan – Lunch

Yorugohan – Dinner

Choushoku is another way to say breakfast – it's a bit more common, but either works. +1

Pa-ti – Party

Uchi – home 家

Kaeru – to return to one's territory. So, uchi ni kaerimasu (to go home) is a common phrase, but so is kaete! (go home/go back/get out/etc). Rude but a word. +1

Kakimasu – to write

Kudasai - please

Houru – to leave alone

Shoki/Shokki – dishes

Arau – to wash

Nugu – to undress. Hadaka ni is another way. +1

Yomimasu – to read

Nomimasu – to drink

Some other simple ones are tatte kudasai (please stand up) suwatte kudasai (please sit down) and kitte kudasai (please come here). Ki (来) is a form of kuru, to come. +4

Total – 28

Studied: -te form

**A message from the director:**

Don't feel the pressure of learning. It's nice how we can get knowledge and learn from our mistakes – especially here on the internet, where knowledge is free.

Also, I'd like to apologize for 2 things. The first is my profanity in any chapters; writing is a way I vent. I'm not going to stop, but still I'd like to apologize.

The second is how slowly I update. I get busy, but as long as there are people who want to learn, I'll come back. I've just barely checked the traffic stats, and OVER TWO HUNDRED PEOPLE have gone through every single chapter. WHY DO NONE OF YOU REVIEW?! Do you WANT the Kagamines to starve? .-.

Eyup. That is all. d(-w-) Happy back to school.


End file.
